Flip-Flopper

The first time I ever felt embarrassed to be wearing flip-flops was in Nice. I was chatting with my neighbor Jack, a French businessman. He looked down at my feet, and then up at me, and gave me a long, hard stare. He didn’t say “stupid American”, but I heard it.

I know that flip-flops are considered gauche in other countries. But growing up in Tucson, AZ has given me a unique perspective on this. In Tucson, you can flip-flop into the fanciest restaurant in town, head held high. I grew up around stunning U of A girls, with long, tan legs. They wear soffe shorts and flip-flops like Hogwarts students wear robes. It’s a mark of belonging. So for me, flip-flops represent a casual glamour.

Of course, other people don’t see it that way. Tim Gunn writes about the “flip-flop waddle” (Guide to Taste and Style, p. 100). According to Mr. Gunn, flip-flops give people’s posture too much liberty; they tend to bow out their legs and waddle. He argues that this makes a person’s butt look terrible. I’ve also heard urban rumors that flip-flops will make your feet bigger if you wear them too much, esp. during pregnancy. More than either of these arguments, though, I’m driven by Jack and his cold French stare when I turn away from my flip-flops. They are worn exclusively to take out the trash and to shower in the gym.

But then comes the change from Winter to Summer, when girls in Minnesota pack away their Ugg boots (I know, I know!) in favor of pretty ballet flats and sandals. And with new shoes come blisters. In the past three days, I wore (in order) driving flats, peeptoe slingbacks, and wedges. By the end of these three days, my heels were covered in blisters. So, with no apologies, I wore my flip-flops out and about.

If this isn’t a reason for flip-flops, I don’t know what is. Something I’ve never been clear on: are nicer “thong” sandals something that Jack would turn up his nose at? If they function like flip-flops save for the noise, do they still count?

I guess the main problem is the waddle, so I suppose I should see if those pricier sandals actually prevent it. I’ll report back with findings!